Just going with the memes, so relax. But seriously, what just happened here? A love song to a city, interspliced with a bromance and teenage rap about bigger things and unimaginable things? As an amateur media therapist I could not believe this awkward game of “Tell me you’re generated by AI, without saying it”. 😅
For prosperity and as a reference, I’m talking about this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W09bIpc_3ms
Here’s a list of observations, slowly escalating to the dialogues on the production floor. Generated by my thumb.
First: who thought it’s a gentlemanly thing to do to have SIR Jony Ive waddle like that on that steep San Francisco road?? I think I would hold my arms like that too and it’s … sooo odd. 💁♀️ Poor man.
Two: what milieu makes a grown man talk like Altman does in this video? His voice sounds just like some clicks and whispers. A vocal fry most valley girls would ‘die for’ 🥇 The funny thing is, when he walks in: his voice is fine! A nice soft spoken, somewhat out of his element, very, very rich man.. 🤗
Three: The director of photography and set designer got clear directions: make them do things that LOOK plausible and normal! ACT NORMAL! Make them do things that ‘joe public’ would do too. Also light and expose EVERY individual THING as if it’s a main character, now layer that stuff up, and BOKEH and FLARE all the things. Make JJ Abrams blush! Oh, and the final color mix MUST equal to 50% grey, when you mix all pixels .. Don’t ask me why.
Four: have the sound be like the most luxurious Zoom call ever! Crush all the background sounds, but smoothly, use round corners! No wait! Include a slight ‘Slurp’ when Jony puts down his cup! It needs to SEEM natural! But filter out all the other sounds of the ‘live people’, streets, bar acoustics and replace it with that vertigo-like-feeling you get when you put on your noise cancelling headset before you play things! Yes! Oh and make Jony sound like he did at Apple! Not his normal voice! Not even when he talks candidly!
Five: OH shoot! We need a script! Okay, I want Jony’s assistent write what he likes about walking after a cup of tea. Altman will talk just about some random stuff. I mean nobody really understands all that gobbledegook. Filter out some of the techno babble. No! Don’t translate it, just search and replace technobabble with space, silence.
What topic? Pfff, do we know what they are going to make? It’s about their friendly take over? That’s it?!? Boo, that’s horribly boring!! Okay, have them talk about a mystery thing, a doodat that nobody will expect so the stocks will sky rocket and we can ride that hockey stick all the way to the bank baby!
Heard from the production managers office, after the pitch to the director: “Oooh, it’s a pump and dump! Dude, yeah, this is perfect! Great even! Yeah, we can manage! I have Tony post you a draft … yeah, made with Sora … Sure, you can post that too!”